Are you back?
Seems in a way you are.
I can't see you, I can't touch you,
but you're here
...
ANOTHER DAY
Almost every morning since you vanished into my memories
I hear again from you...
...
My compulsion leaks out of my soul everyday.
Waiting like Pavlov's dog each moment for some little treat to feed my desire.
Simple two word texts are my treats.
Saying little and only suggesting,
...
Iiving in confusion, living in uncertainty...
Drifting in and out of puzzles.
Where do we exist
...
Trying to sort out the day.4 hours waiting with nothing while 'software' was slopped off to my jeep....
manufacturer mandate....
I read...
I thought too much...
...
Again The Silence
Again the silence
And it echoes through my shattered soul like a thunderstorm
...
Memories woven loosely together as in a dream....
Scattered across my soul in movement, stillness and silence
No focus, no direction and yet overflowing with
A pain as new as the morning and as old as the oceans.
...
Yet again
Crashing back and forth between delight and
Disappointment
Racking my brain and
...
The road drifts north along an empty shore.
It goes somewhere away from all that pressures
the soul and heart of
those alone in this world.
...
11-2-16
Struggling to retrieve what may well be lost
Each day brings new excitement and new frustrations.
...
Cold, sterile, blank, empty,
why bother with any of this
It has no place to go.
It's a cascading glacial river of loss and sadness
...
Hazy memories of a life and loves that never
Happened.
Days drift silently to night
...
11-14-15
Restlessness and anxiety swarm across my being
Searching, seeking, answers to unasked questions.
...
Shadow
There is a shadow standing at the foot of my bed.
Each morning, as the light seeps in through the cracks in the blinds,
...
Born, educated, warrior USMC, VN, more education, married, children, work, unmarried, married a second time, another child, unmarried again, more work, grandfather, retired, cancer, move to the forest, live alone, great grandfather, write, kayak, roaming, pondering, fall in love again, drink, writing more, thinking more, waiting for who knows what. Winter is here. So it goes.)
Return
Are you back?
Seems in a way you are.
I can't see you, I can't touch you,
but you're here
somewhere.
Perhaps you've always been here,
in my thoughts,
In my soul
My heart
My desire
'I read tea leaves, look at frog entrails, ascertain realities and blow doors open.'
'We are all being washed downstream by life's events, we grab onto whatever piece of debris that is near us in the flood in the hope we can stay afloat. Sometimes that is enough, often it is not'