Diana Ballesteros

My dear depression you became a very close friend to me, I have written to you and about you all my life.
All my life you have pulled me to my darkest deepest shadows. You my dear have held a mirror to me and showed me how my inner self looks in the bare, how deep and dark my thought can be if I truly hate, and how deep i can love, you showed me how strong emotions i have in me. You showed me that my soul can be as black as night, and as night its beautiful, with time I learned that even though i can have very deep dark emotions, like the night there is always a sunrise. but
this kind of emotions would terrified me and as a child I would run away, from the emotions, but today I stand next to you and hold your hand. Taking long walks in the shadows like two old friends. My soul took time in growing and accepting you.
My depression, my ego and I walk holding hands and walk into my own hell and let me see the beautiful it can be, my own hell is breath taking, it's almost like a painful heaven. All the pain is turned into a piece of art. It's like a gift of all my lessons to myself.
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My world was tranquil, passive, and beautiful. little storms here and there. But peaceful. As my sunshine grew her storms were becoming less and the sun was always pleased, however You came along and my life became full of storms in a short amount of time, however in a short amount of time I learned to see the beauty in them. which inspires me to write about them. I learn how to still your storm.
My little helpless storm; how I love you.
I am amused seeing you cast your thundery temper. Because when I hold you in my arms, your tempers seem to quiet down, the sun seems to come out as you smile, and tears dry on your rosy cheeks.
My Helpless storm child, how I love you.
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Am sorry for falling in love with a worthless boy that wants life carefree and easy.
sorry for believing in his lies that he loved you.
sorry for him hurting you even if you are not old enough to understand now.
Am sorry that I still love him.
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Now...
how can you say that you are a man if you don't do anything for your child.
how can you say that you love her if you aren't there to make her pain better.
how can you say to everyone that you know her if you don't know what she is doing right now.
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Poem


you know when you written a real poem, when you read it, even years later you read it and your back to that time, those tears just fall, your heartaches, you choke and you can't keep reading because the memories come back and the pain is too much for you to handle. You know you put your life on a piece of paper, when you can make a stranger cry and feel what you did every time anyone reads a part of your life.
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Jamie your love is only worth a moment where you are enchanted with a graceful and beautiful woman.
Jaime your love is only worth one word. You know how to make mine pale skin become full of color and my eyes gleam with delight, with one word the butterflies start to flutter, and mine heart was dancing.

Jamie your love is only worth so little...till you found a better-looking lady and she so different than me. she gave you so much lust it drove you insane and wanted her more, she has a power over you,
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El amor de un hombre sólo vale la pena un momento en que está encantado con tu gracia y belleza.
El amor de un hombre sólo vale una palabra.
Él sabe cómo hacer que su piel pálida se llena de color y sus ojos brillan con un sentimiento de júbilo en el interior. Con una palabra las mariposas comienzan a agitar y su corazón es balla.
El amor de un hombre sólo vale tan poco...
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Tonight, I feel like I gave away a part of me.
I traded a part of me, just for some company.
I gave a part of me to have someone pretend they care about me. Even if deep inside I know it's a lie.
I have sold parts of me to feel some emotions, even though we are not anything to each other. We are just friends. Always keeping it in the back of mine mind.
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Esta noche, siento que he regalado una parte de mí.
Cambié una parte de mí, sólo por alguna compañía.
Me daba una parte de mí para que alguien fingiera que se preocupan por mí. Incluso si en el fondo sé que es una mentira.
He vendido partes de mí para sentir algunas emociones, aunque no somos nada el uno al otro. Solo somos amigos. Siempre manteniéndolo en el fondo de mi mente.
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I may not have been lucky in many things in life, but I have no need to be. because you have always been here with me.
You been through heaven and the center of hell with me.
You picked me up when I thought I couldn't get up.
You are mine saint, earth angel, my religion. Because you have taught me that you don't need a church to be a good person, all you need is to have a good heart.
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Puede que no haya tenido suerte en muchas cosas de la vida, pero no tengo necesidad de estarlo. Porque siempre has estado aquí conmigo.
Has pasado por el cielo y el centro del infierno conmigo.
Usted me levantó cuando pensé que no podía levantarme.
Eres mí, santa, mi ángel de la tierra, mi religión. Porque me has enseñado que no necesitas una iglesia para ser una buena persona, todo lo que necesitas es tener un buen corazón.
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Ahora...
Cómo puedes decir que eres un hombre si no haces nada por tu hija.
¿Cómo puedes decir que la amas si no estás allí para hacer que su dolor mejor.
Cómo puedes decirle a todos que la conoces si no sabes lo que está haciendo ahora mismo.
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Lo siento por enamorarme de un chico sin valor que quiere una vida despreocupada y fácil.
Lo siento por creer en sus mentiras que te amaba.
Lo siento por él te lastima incluso si no eres lo suficientemente mayor para entender ahora.
Siento que todavía lo ame.
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